Weird Things Pregnant Couples Do
by flxnce
Summary: Poor Marco, he did not expect Star would be like this while pregnant. Based on the Buzzfeed video 'Weird Things Pregnant Couples Do.'


"Come on, come on show some movement." Marco held his phone angled towards his pregnant wife's belly.

"Come on, give us like a hand or a foot or something," Star added, her patience growing thin. They had been trying catch this baby give a kick or punch or something, but now she was growing very bored and tired of it.

"Give us something we can send to Grandma."

The couple waited a few seconds before the belly shifted and the baby gave a kick for the camera. Smiles spread on the King and Queen's faces and they whooped, cheering their baby on. "There you are!" Star exclaimed and promptly ended the video.

"You ready to go?" Marco asked, leaning on the bed and waiting for his wife to finish getting ready so they could go to earth and see his parents.

Star gathered her newly cut hair into a ponytail. "Yeah." Marco straightened up, relief flooding him. "I have to pee." Star exited the room.

Marco slumped back down and looked to the place that Star just left through, an agitated look on his face. "Then you're not ready to go."

"Double cheeseburger, a large fry, and a chocolate shake."

"Uh, okay, a double cheeseburger, large fries and a large chocolate shake," Marco repeated the order to the person at the other end of the Licky Splits Drive-Thru.

"Ooh, and can I also get some apple fritters."

"And a couple of apple fritters."

"And, you know what, get me a sundae too."

"And a sundae, t-too."

Marco and Star laid on the couch of their living room in the castle. A movie played on the TV screen which illuminated the dark room. A bowl of popcorn sat between Star's chest and her globular stomach. The couple watched the movie in silence and Marco reached for some popcorn. Shortly after Star stretched her neck forward taking a piece of popcorn with only her tongue. Marco looked to Star in wonder, "Nice," he said shortly. Star smiled and nodded.

Marco sat in the throne room, going over papers when suddenly a plastic plate was shoved into his hands.

"I got sushi," Star said shortly and leaned over her husband.

"But you can't have sushi?"

"But you can."

"I already ate."

"Eat it!" Star growled, anger running through her veins.

Marco picked up a piece of the raw fish and quickly put it in his mouth. "Slower!" Marco began to chew slower. "That's right."

"Can I get it in a larger size, actually?"

Marco sighed, "Okay, scratch the 12 make it a 24," the brunet told the girl behind the Drive-Thru. "And can I also get uh," Marco looked to his wife, blanking on what she had wanted.

"Do they, do they make like gravy that you can put on the fries?"

"Uh, this is weird, but do you guys make gravy?"

Star and Marco watched the movie an abrupt explosion appearing in the midst of the climax. "Oh, fuck!"

"Hey, don't curse in front of the baby," Marco chastised his wife.

"Babies can't hear what I'm saying," Star replied, rolling her eyes.

"Uh, yeah, they can."

"Fuck. Shit. Motherfucker."

Marco plucked Star on the forehead. "Stop!"

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck."

Star and Marco sat in their car, on their way to Ferguson and Alfonso's house.

"I have to pee."

"Now try this one," Star said and pointed to a dragon roll.

Marco picked up the sushi, "But I don't like this kind."

"Just try it," Star pushed through gritted teeth. Marco quickly put the roll in his mouth.

"As the baby's head crowns, the vagina will experience what some refer to as 'the ring of fire.'"

Star let out a painful sigh and Marco dropped the tablet.

"Why would you make me watch that?!"

"I don't know!"

Star paused the movie, putting the popcorn bowl aside. "I gotta pee."

"Oh oh! Are they still serving breakfast because-"

"Are-are you guys still serving breakfast? Because she would really like some pancakes."

A car behind them honked his horn and Star scoffed. "Just hold on! Geez!"

"Tell me how much you love it!" Star said, frustration lacing her words.

"I love it so much," Marco cried, literal tears running down his face. Pregnant Star was way more demanding than the regular one.

Star took a deep breath as Marco choked on his tears and the spiciness of the sushi rolls she brought home. "Okay, I'm good." Star straightened up and pat Marco's back. "Thanks for that," she said before leaving.

Star and Marco walked through Echo Creek's mall.

"I have to pee."

Star sighed, a pair of abnormally large headphones on her stomach as Marco's phone played classical music through them. Star looked at her husband who had finally fallen asleep and grinned, unplugging Marco's phone from the headphones. Star grabbed her phone and began to play some rap music, plugging in the headphones.

A few hours later, Marco awoke from his nap to see Star asleep on the couch and her phone connected to the headphones. Wait, that wasn't right. Marco took the headphones off of the stomach rap music coming from them. "Star!"

Pbbt prbt pbbt rbbt bbt

Marco laughed and Star pushed him. "Stop, I can't help it."

Marco laughed some more, following her. "Come on, it's funny.

Star rubbed her hands on her belly. The royal couple laid in their bed, Star's head resting on Marco's shoulder. "Can you believe it," she asked quietly. "Pretty soon there's going to be a real living baby here. Like a real, live, screaming, crying, pooping baby."

"I know," Marco smiled, "and I can't wait to meet her." Star just smiled and continued to rub her large stomach. "Are you ready?"

Star laughed, but fear gripped at her heart. "No. Are you?"

"I don't think anybody ever really is. What do you think?"

"I think~ I have to pee." Star said and got out of the bed. She looked to Marco and smiled. "I love ya, babe."

" I love you too."

"You do? What's your favorite album? Rattle and Hum? Boy? I really like October."

Marco sighed. "And the jokes begin."

Extra:

"Baby's gonna come out like a sailor," Marco groaned, chewing on his popcorn.

"Well, she was born of se-men." Star grinned a wide grin and looked up at Marco.

Marco just closed his eyes and made a gun with his fingers, bringing it to his head. "Pfft blaaaaah."


End file.
